Me Myself and I
by LeaNicolaie
Summary: Kaname's mentioned the blood of a pureblood as 'poison' because even when separated from its owner and into another's body, it still answers to the will of its owner when called. And in fact, Zero has quite the eclectic collection of blood inside of him, which makes for an interesting bit of background noise...


**Me, Myself and I**

. . .

Zero let out a soft sigh as he lowered his gun and watched another vampire turn to dust by his bullet.

As he turned around and tucked Bloody Rose inside of his coat, his calm focus swiftly changed to irritation and annoyance.

"That was amazing, Zero! How many was that today?" Yuuki chirped, her voice, as always, a bit echoey from within. "You shouldn't cut off what they try to say, though. That's a little rude."

Before Zero could offer an answer, Ichiru snorted derisively. "What, and listen to them whine for their undeserved life? Zero could be killing other vampires in the span it takes for those dumb level Cs to piss their pants — there's no reason why he has to listen to them bitch about it."

The dark wolf let out a warning huff. It wasn't quite up to growling, but its ears were starting to flatten against its head.

Ichiru sent the wolf an unimpressed look. "You got something to say? You're supposed to be Zero's guard dog here, you know. Not this little girl who hasn't even got the sense to dress in anything other than her uniform."

Crossing her arms defensively, Yuuki pouted. "Hey, I like this uniform. And Zero likes me in it. I can use Artemis a lot better with these on."

"_I'd_ like some quiet around here," Sara was visibly refraining from rolling her eyes. "Our dear host is reaching his patience." She waved her hand up above daintily.

"Oh! Sorry, Zero! I promise to keep it down," Yuuki smiled.

Ichiru coughed. "Liar."

"Shut _up_." Zero mumbled, trying not to attract unwanted attention. The last thing he needed was to be thought even crazier than he already was.

The silence lasted for close to thirty seconds.

"Have you reconsidered Cross Kaien's proposal of taking over his position yet?" Sara asked airily. "I only ask because your lack of ambition is very vexing." Slanting a side eyed glance at Yuuki, she smirked, "You're hardly as dull as the little girl here, and you're very competent. Not to mention, you'd be afforded a position to put forth a myriad of changes, all in your favor.

"Why are you keeping yourself back?"

The silence after _that_ lasted a lot longer.

"She's right, Zero." Yuuki said softly. "You don't have to be the leader of the Association, but you don't have anything besides killing vampires. You used to collect old books back then, but you don't do that anymore either."

Dear lord almighty, she was telling him he needed a hobby. Like some of those people who knit on the train.

Shaking his head, Ichiru cast her a pitying smile. "You have no idea what _type _of books those were, do you?" His smile widened. "They were on vampires, written by hunters from way back when. You know, on how to _kill_ them better?"

Yuuki's disappointment was palpable. "_Zero…"_

Zero was busy feeling angry over Ichiru apparently going through his stuff while he was still alive. To which Ichiru snickered at.

"Did you think I wouldn't check you out while I was there? It was laughably easy to break into your dorm room. It's not like I had to _do_ anything."

The woes of being identical fucking twins.

A warm breeze passed and the tree rooted atop the ivory coffin rustled.

"Well, she doesn't think it was very inspired." Sara translated. The tree rustled again. "But she did like your cross dressing. That was a riot." She paused, as if taking a moment to process new information. "Oh, you _do_ have fab legs." She nodded sagely. "Those girls got _some_thing right."

Zero wanted someone to punch him in the face. Anywhere, as long as it knocked him out for a few hours. He couldn't punch himself in the middle of the street if he wanted to avoid the crazy label. (Though at this stage in the game, he wondered why he still cared.) Maybe a regular gun would do the trick. He would unmistakably be unconscious while the gunshot wound healed on its own.

The wolf growled in annoyance.

Yuuki gasped. "Oh Zero, no!"

Ichiru groaned. "Really, Zero, _really_? I thought I got you over that phase with our tete-a-tete at the graveyard."

Sara just laughed.

And the tree branches started to wilt.

Definitely a gun. He _had_ to get a gun.

. . .

A/N: Thanks for reading! Hope that was enjoyable!


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